<.> Ughhhh I hate not having money that I want to buy myself nice things with and it sucks because Tera just came out with a new mount.. UGHHHHH
Kill me ;-;
You know whats funny? I actually think I can have a place here. I really don’t. I try to find my place, scrambling around trying to find that certain piece that is missing but by the time I get there someone else has already filled it. Nothingness, the feeling of being pathetic and worthless almost.. There are ones who dare to say they love me. I push them away from me, I have covered myself in isolation and feel safe, but I’m not even sure if I really am anymore… Most of you won’t even take the time to read this. Good. Because by the time most of you do end up reading this I know each and every one of you will end up thinking that I am a poser, a wanna-be, a fake, someone who just wants to grab anyone’s attention even for a second, an attention whore. For those of you who know me, for those who don’t: Judge me as you will, I don’t ask for you to pity me. Just to understand what my mind is going though.
I do not want to sleep anymore.. I no longer want it. I’ll wait till I pass out just so that I know I won’t dream. All of them are nightmares. All of them. Progressively growing worse. Each one growing to be horrid. Each one growing to be terrifying. All the blood, the gore, the pain. All of them. They feel real, I feel it all. Every night…
Streaming Squishy Chibi Experiment Art~